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Engagement Training & Development

Sharing a Positive Message: Interview with Laughing at My Nightmare’s Sarah Yunusov

Shane Burcaw and Sarah Burcaw, Laughing at My Nightmare (LAMN]

I am one of more than half a million followers of Shane Burcaw’s Laughing At My Nightmare blog. I’m also greatly impressed with the nonprofit organization he co-founded with his cousin, Sarah Yunusov, with the mission “to spread a message of positivity while providing equipment grants to those living with muscular dystrophy.” The popularity and growth of LAMN’s brand has Shane and Sarah giving presentations throughout the U.S., so I was thrilled when they planned to speak at a “hometown” event in Bethlehem, PA, where I could hear them.

Their presentation was phenomenal – filled with the candor, humor, and positive perspective that characterizes Shane’s writing. I met with both of them recently, and we spoke about the critical need to embrace a positive attitude. Since Shane is busy writing his blog and has a new book in progress, I asked Sarah to share her thoughts here.

QSM: How did you and Shane get into speaking about the topic of positivity?

Sarah: Shane and I grew up in a family that was always laughing. Big family dinners occurred about once a month at our grandparents’ house, and the signature activity at these gatherings was making fun of each other. Most of our family has a twisted, sarcastic sense of humor, and once the jokes would start, they would never stop. This was the case at weddings, birthday parties, and even funeral receptions (it sounds wrong, but what better way to celebrate a life than by remembering the best moments with laughter?).

At an early age, we learned how incredibly powerful humor was when dealing with adversity. Fast forward to Shane starting his blog. His blog was basically just an extension of the mindset instilled in us by our family. It’s about the hilarious and crazy experiences Shane has had living with muscular dystrophy, but more than that, it teaches readers that a positive attitude can help them effectively cope with stress and adversity.

Science has proved this idea to be true. Studies show that “happy” individuals not only experience better life outcomes (such as higher income, better rates of marriage, etc.) but they also tend to be more productive than “unhappy” people.

The best part is that advances in neuroscience and positive psychology are showing us that it’s totally possible to actively increase your overall chronic happiness. Our happiness is composed of three basic parts: set point, circumstances, and intentional activity. Set point is your genetic happiness level. It accounts for about 50% of your overall happiness. Circumstances are things like job, geography, income, etc. These are the daily realities that we “think” have a huge impact on our happiness. Interestingly, though, studies suggest that circumstances only account for about 10% of our happiness. The last slice of the happiness pie are intentional activities—all the thoughts and actions we “choose” to think and do. These activities, which make up 40% of our happiness, are the key to becoming happier people. By learning techniques to live and think more positively, you can quite literally change the chemical functions of your brain to become a happier person. We think that’s pretty freaking cool.

QSM: What’s the key message in your presentations?

Sarah: The key message of our talks is that we have control over our happiness, as per the science I just described. We use funny stories from Shane’s life of living with a disability to illustrate these concepts. We’ve also done talks about inclusion and diversity, as well as anti-bullying themed presentations.

QSM: Your speaking engagements involve two distinct types of audiences: schools that range from elementary to high school, and businesses that include private companies and pharmaceutical firms. How do the responses you get from these diverse audiences compare?

Sarah: There are definitely some differences and similarities between the schools we speak at compared to the businesses. With kids, our message is more about showing them that we have choices about how we respond to adversity. Kids are endlessly curious too, which we love, because it allows us to understand the preconceptions they have about disability and gives us an opportunity to educate them. Adult audiences are more interested in the science and the concrete methods they can employ to become happier people.

QSM: How can your message of positivity help people today?

Sarah: We live in a time when fear and negativity are attacking our minds often, and in a variety of ways. Now more than ever, we need to remind ourselves why being alive is so beautiful. We believe our message can change the world with that very simple idea.

QSM: An inspired message and important goal, indeed. Thank you, Sarah!

You can learn more about the story behind Laughing At My Nightmare, Inc., in this video and on LAMN’s website.

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Engagement

How Will You Honor Your Employees on Recognition Day?

Recognizing and affirming employee value is critical to creating and sustaining employee engagement. And while workplace recognition should be a no-brainer, Gallup research found otherwise. According to Gallup practice manager Annamarie Mann and researcher Nate Dvorak, ” … only one in three U.S. workers strongly agree that they received recognition or praise for doing good work in the past seven days. At any given company, it’s not uncommon for employees to feel that their best efforts are routinely ignored. Further, employees who do not feel adequately recognized are twice as likely to say they’ll quit in the next year.”

For managers who need an extra push when it comes to recognition, get ready for national Recognition Day, Friday, March 3, 2017. This special holiday is observed annually on the first Friday in March that 1) serves as be a springboard for those starting to get serious about the importance of recognition, and 2) enables those who value recognition to do something extra for their employees.

Effective recognition is authentic and genuine — it doesn’t work if it’s forced. If you’re serious about recognizing your employees, have fun with it and know that it doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. Your can find many great ideas here to celebrate Recognition Day and throughout the year:

Creative Ideas Abound as Recognition Day 2017 Approaches

51 Employee Appreciation Day Ideas That Won’t Break The Bank

Validation isn’t a once-and-done effort. Everyone needs to know that our work matters … that we matter.  How will you recognize your employees this Recognition day to let them know that they matter?

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Engagement

What to Look for When Replacing a Manager

A colleague expressed frustration about a corporate search that took nearly a year to replace a department head. It takes time to bring in the right person, and urgency takes a back seat to finding the right fit.

The challenge, however, is getting through the process as employees cope with the “temporary” void feeling uncertain and even anxious about their manager’s replacement. Change can be scary given the unknown of the newcomer’s personality and agenda, particularly if the new manager comes from outside the organization.

That’s why it’s important to remember the words spoken by the wise knight in Indiana Jones’ The Last Crusade: “choose wisely.”

If you’re in a position to select a manager’s replacement, consider the type of engaging manager recommended by thought leader and academic Henry Mintzberg in his classic article “Managing Quietly.” He describes managers who:

  • Inspire rather than empower their people by creating a culture with “conditions that foster openness and release energy” so that “empowerment is taken for granted.”
  • Care for their organizations by spending more time “preventing problems than fixing them, because they know enough to know when and how to intervene.”
  • Infuse change so that it “seeps in slowly, steadily, profoundly” instead of dramatically so “everyone takes responsibility for making sure that serious changes take hold.”

For executives, search committees, and HR staff tasked with filling managers’ positions, you don’t want it said that you “chose poorly.”

Categories
Customer service Engagement Marketing

How to (Gently) End a Customer Relationship

good-bye blue-1477872_960_720When I asked other business professionals when it’s best to lose a customer or client, the reasons boiled down to the customer’s lack of respect and not being fully committed to the working relationship. Examples cited included:

  • difficult interactions with or mistreating customer-contact employees
  • being unresponsive and uncooperative
  • paying late or not at all.

The question then is how do you actually end such a business relationship in these situations? The best advice on “how to fire a customer” comes from customer-loyalty consultant and best-selling author, Chip R. Bell:

“Firing a customer is a bit like disarming a bomb; ‘very carefully’ is the operative term. The goals is to subdue animosity without scattering aftermath. Sometimes customers are so incensed at losing a favorite punching bag — even though it’s actually you who’s ‘lost’ them — they can move quickly from anger to vindictiveness, seeking opportunities to punish, not just put down. You can limit your chance of such backlash by handling firings in cool-headed but still sensitive ways.”

When terminating a business relationship based on the first two examples — when the customer has become abusive or difficult to deal with — Bell cautions against taking an angry, defensive, or otherwise emotional approach to avoid fueling the customer’s anger at ending the relationship.

” … a rational explanation for why a continued relationship will harm your business—how harsh treatment of service reps impairs productivity, or how a difficult relationship steals time from other deserving customers—should be your modus operandi here. The goal is to give the customer a signal that he or she is unwelcome if the unwanted behavior persists.  ‘Ms. Jones, I must ask you to leave. The morale of our associates is critically important to their well-being and to the well-being of our organization. While we are by no means perfect, our employees must not be repeatedly subjected to actions that demean them as people.’“

Bell also advises a rational approach when the issue is based on the bottom line, such as the client not paying.

“[Emphasize] how a continued relationship will negatively affect the business, not on how a parting of ways will make your long-suffering staff feel like it’s just won the lottery.  ‘Mr. Jones, we’ve greatly appreciated your business for the last year. We have elected to apply our limited resources in a new direction and will not be soliciting your business in the near future. Should you want to continue our relationship it will likely need to be at a (higher price, greater volume, faster cycle time, lower cost, etc.).’“

Granted, none of this is easy in a competitive and challenging marketplace. But it is essential to stand up for your employees and organizational principles. As Bell explains:

” … courageously ending relationships with customers who continually turn the blowtorch on the front line, or who over time siphon more funds from the bottom line than they return, sends a message about what you stand for as an organization.”

[Note: above excerpts cited with permission from Chip Bell’s book, “Wired and Dangerous,” co-authored with John R. Patterson.]

Categories
Engagement

Creative Planning for 2017

Napkin futures by David Zinger

“Tabling strategy.
Gel pens drawn
during fast food lunch
sparking napkin artistry.
Ink bleeds
arrows, word, and stick figures
into thin paper.
Absorbing both
strategic thinking
and mustard drips
oozing from the overflowing cheeseburger.
It is going to be a good year.”

— From David Zinger’s book of poems on workplace engagement, Assorted Zingers, illustrated by cartoonist John Junson.

Categories
Engagement

Read This If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed This Holiday

If you need help regaining your perspective on what’s important this holiday, consider these words of wisdom from business and life coach, Steve Davis. He offers a profound strategy to better cope with the stress of “too much.”

To find true fulfillment and better cope with the stress brought on by hyper-materialism and information-overload, Steve advises understanding the difference between “Assimilation vs. Accumulation.”

We haven’t asked ourselves the questions, “How much is enough?” “What do I value over everything else?” We just cannot say “no” to available things and information that meet our fancy. And in some ways, we crave each new thing with the hope that it will somehow set us free. Consequently, we are literally dying from over consumption in one form or another … People are busier, have less time, and often feel overwhelmed, surrounded by too much stuff and stressed out under the growing burden of too much information.

How do we cope with the temptation to consume ourselves into oblivion? …  First, begin replacing the habit of “accumulating”  [i.e., amassing information, material things, and experiences] with the practice of “assimilating”  [absorbing them]. And second, make sure that what you ingest in any form is of the highest quality possible. 

Satisfaction comes from fully digesting and extracting the fine nutrients from what we already have, and making choices for new input based on our true values and passions, not our casual likes and vague interests. – Steve Davis, Assimilation vs. Accumulation

I encourage you to read the complete article to better assimilate what’s most important. While Steve wrote this for an audience of professional facilitators, his message is applicable to everyone.

[Note: My loyal blog readers may recognize this content that I’ve posted before. Given our continual struggle with over-consumption, Steve’s valuable advice is worth sharing again.]

Categories
Customer service Engagement

Extending Thanks Giving

Regardless of when you observe Thanksgiving, the holiday encourages us to give thanks for all we have … and for all that we don’t have (e.g., difficult circumstances). I’m all for expressing sincere gratitude during the season; I just wish it was given more frequently.

A friend of mine shared her experience with a Salvation Army volunteer bell-ringer, a man she recognized as a bell-ringer from the previous year. As she put money into the red kettle and received his thanks, she smiled and thanked him for his commitment to helping the Salvation Army. He also recognized her and told her she was one of the few who took the time to make eye contact and speak with him.

Another friend, who’s slightly disabled, described how she always thanks the store clerks who help her: “They are lovely in all the stores I go to and always help with opening doors for me or reaching an item on a high shelf or asking how I am if I haven’t been in for awhile. It goes beyond what they have to do so I am writing thank-you notes to let them know I appreciate the service and their help.”

Gratitude is a powerful form of acknowledgment, and it’s as critical today as ever.

“At a time of vast and troubling uncertainty, in a world that is being reshaped by technology, small acts of connection take on outsized importance. It’s strange to think that a winning smile from a cashier or a flight attendant, or a nod of recognition from an employee who has seen you three times that week, might matter to the person receiving it — or to the person doing it. But I believe it does matter, both in terms of creating better human experiences and building more valuable organizations.” Bill Taylor, excerpt from an HBR article written three years ago.

Let’s be generous with our gratitude today and every day. Thank you!

[Image courtesy of Pixabay]

 

 

Categories
Engagement

Employee Engagement: When the Employee Just Doesn’t Feel It

Why is it that even in companies with a positive, engaged culture, there’s no guarantee all employees will be fully engaged?

The answer has to do with who’s ultimately responsible for employee engagement – a responsibility shared by employees and their employers.

  • Employers are responsible for creating and maintaining an engaging workplace where employees want to and are enabled do their best work.
  • Employees are equally responsible for their own engagement in that they need to show up on the job ready, willing, and able to do their best work.

So what happens when an employee doesn’t feel engaged in an engaging culture?

Barbara Berger, Career Wellness Partners
Barbara Berger, Career Wellness Partners

That’s what I asked Barbara Berger, hiring manager and certified career coach with Career Wellness Partners. Her mission is to expand the (often neglected) employee side of the employee engagement conversation by challenging individuals to take responsibility for their own motivation and career evolution. She has experience working with people in all stages of their careers: students, early professionals, mid-career job changes, and second acts.

According to Barbara, four primary situational factors contribute to employees no longer feeling engaged:

  • Poor job fit or career choice
  • Feeling they’ve outgrown their position within the company
  • Personal issues or life events, such as health or family crises, divorce, elder care responsibilities, etc.
  • Work is good, company is good, boss is intolerable.

QSM: What do you suggest to employees dealing with one or more of these situations?

Barbara: Speaking generally, regardless of the factor, an employee needs three things to return to engagement (or find engagement in the first place).

  1. Awareness – This means doing the self-assessment work to get to the root cause of the disconnect. This is the inward-facing, honest evaluation that begins to bring clarity to the situation. A hard look at strengths, skills, values, and interests, etc.
  2. Commitment – A commitment to doing whatever it takes to get back on the road to a connection with their career. It’s really a commitment to themselves that they won’t tolerate this level of disengagement and a promise to do their fair share of the work required to get it back on track.
  3. Action – Taking meaningful steps to create opportunities for change. Just thinking and complaining about the situation keeps employees in victim mode and on the sidelines rather than actively finding ways to inspire engagement for themselves.

QSM: In your experience, what else is involved in helping employees re-engage?

Barbara:  Each situational factor that impacts individual engagement brings its own considerations that are unique to the individual and his or her particular circumstances. When working with clients who fall into one of the above categories, there are things to take into consideration like:

  • The stage of career the employee is in
  • The level of commitment by the current company to fostering an atmosphere of engagement
  • The comfort level of having career development discussions with the boss (usually directly proportional to the company’s commitment cited above)
  • And, of course, the employee’s personal financial situation if considering making significant changes based on feeling disengaged.

It is when an employee is feeling disengaged that it can be most beneficial to take part in engagement opportunities the company provides. Even though it takes more energy at these times, I encourage disengaged clients to use everything available to create a spark of interest and create an atmosphere where transformational events can occur.

QSM: To learn more, please check out the Career Wellness Partners blog. Thank you, Barbara!

 

 

Categories
Customer service Training & Development

When It’s Best to Lose a Customer or Client

Despite the best intentions, there are times when it’s necessary to give up a customer or client. The reasons vary, as I learned when I asked colleagues why they stopped working with customers.

In their own words (and in no particular order), here’s what they said about terminating customer/client relationships.

It’s time to cut a customer/client loose when …

  • “Every time we did work for this one company, the marketing director would go out of her way to find 40 things wrong with the project to try to get it for free.” Ad agency executive
  • “1) The client/customer becomes abusive to you or your staff, 2) lies to you, and 3) doesn’t pay his or her bills. Not always in that order.” Marketing researcher
  • “You’ve lost enthusiasm for them.” Ron Strauss, Founder and CEO, Brandzone
  • “1) Project after project, year after year the business isn’t profitable. 2) They don’t respect your team — meaning they take advantage of the client/vendor relationship and always are mean, disrespectful and basically just not nice! This leads to a heavy toll on your team and usually means more turnover.” CEO research supplier

It’s time to cut a customer/client loose when …

  • “Your work together is no longer fun or engaging for both of you, lacks mutual respect or when there is a mismatch of values.” Jane Wells Schooley, Executive Leadership Coach and Educator
  • “The relationship has deteriorated to the point that it is affecting staff morale.” Marketing Consultant
  • “They are asking you to do something that goes against your ethics or your professional judgment.” Dennis Fischman, Chief Communicator, Communicate! Consulting
  • “They are not ‘all in.’ Meaning they are not doing the work, engaged in conversation, or showing progress.” Meridith Elliott Powell, Business Growth Expert & Keynote Speaker
  • “The thrill is gone; i.e., when I’ve lost enthusiasm for the project due to any number of circumstances including (a) the client is never satisfied; (b) the client is unresponsive and/or uncooperative; (c) the client hasn’t paid for work I’ve already done; etc.” Writer/editor

It’s time to cut a customer/client loose when …

  • You find you can no longer serve their interests in good faith and are on the border of losing your professionalism.” Senior Communications Consultant with a 20+ year history in consulting
  • They’re yanking your chain. When a client does not provide the necessary information for you to be able to complete their work in a timely manner. I understand ‘what can happen will happen’when it comes to business. However, I also know when they’re procrastinating with the tasks at hand. Client satisfaction travels on a two-way street.” Chuck Holder  LLC, Business Consulting
  • “They say ‘your competition is saying they can do it for $X.’  The reason that is a ‘move on’ statement is two-fold:
    1. They’ve already been talking to my competition to get a price which means they don’t see me as a partner anymore but simply another ‘vendor.’ Normally, if you’re a partner, they would address pricing way before they get a quote from a competitor and may even tell you they will be checking to see what the market is showing for your services. That is normal. Doing it behind your back shows a lack of respect for the relationship.
    2. They’ve decided what you are providing is a commodity and can be bought on the open market. Somehow your ‘unique’ value-add that got you the business (assuming you didn’t buy it in the first place with the lowest bid) is no longer unique nor value-add. You’re just another line item.
      These two things combined typically mean you’ve moved past a collaborative, supportive, reciprocal business relationship and have entered the dreaded ‘vendor zone.'” Paul Hebert, Senior Director, Solutions Architecture, Creative Group, Inc.

Takeaway
Respect and trust matter in professional business relationships — among service providers and their customers/clients.

Special thanks to the business professionals who shared their responses here. (Names or general titles listed by respondent preference.)

 

Categories
Engagement

The Market’s Impact on Employee Engagement

How does the economy affect the practice of employee engagement?

In times of low unemployment when there is strong competition for qualified people to fill positions, organizations scramble to find and keep good employees. Strategic recruitment and retention take center stage in a tight labor market. In this situation, the case for employee engagement is a no-brainer.

In times of high unemployment when there are fewer positions available, it’s employees who scramble to find and keep jobs. Instead of being viewed as marketable talent (“What will it take to get you to work for us?”), employees are viewed as expendable commodities (“You’re lucky to have a job, so we don’t care about keeping you happy.”). This is when engagement is viewed as an unnecessary expense.

Investment in workplace engagement, unfortunately, varies based on the economy.

“In boom cycles, leaders tend to have a healthy focus on what needs to be done to continue to drive profitable growth. But as soon as the bubble bursts, they turn to an unhealthy focus on results, which decreases employee commitment [and] discretionary effort, and negatively impacts productivity, and overall market performance.” Dr. Clark Perry

We don’t need no stinkin’ engagement … or do we?

Market fluctuations should not be an excuse to abandon employee engagement efforts. For example, consider the impact that high unemployment has on consumer spending — when fewer people are working, they spend less. As a result, companies need to work harder to compete for customers. Employees who find themselves treated as expendable are unlikely to go out of their way to best serve current and prospective customers. It’s the reason I remind executives and business owners that the way your employees feel is the way your customers will feel. And if your employees don’t feel valued, neither will your customers!

It’s also why employee engagement is a smart strategy regardless of the market situation.